About Jake

I was born in 1983 in Biddeford Maine. This small burg in Southern Maine is primarily populated by descendants of the poor Frenchmen that came to Biddeford and many other small New England towns to work in the textile mills. Biddeford is the epitome of a blue collar town.

Schooled in the public school system of Biddeford my entire life, graduation gave me the opportunity to spread my wings. I had applied and been accepted at a Jesuit university, Fairfield University, in Fairfield Connecticut. So with a quick wave and a hurried “goodbye, you crummy little burg”, I packed up and traveled to the Southern confines of New England.

Upon my arrival at FU, I immediately noticed two things. #1 Southern Conneticut wants to be part of New York and #2, we, the rest of New England, should let them. The people are snobs, they all work in New York, they have New York accents, and lastly, they have the Yes Network. Or in other words, New York Yankee network. If you’re part of New England, you have to have NESN (New England Sports Network) period. Those are the rules, I don’t make them up, I just follow them.

Needless to say, the following three years are a blur of booze, women, and poor grades. I, after surviving one year as a resident assistant as a junior, was kindly asked not to return to Fairfield due to less than stellar academic performance along with early signs of cirrhosis of the liver. I came home with my tail tucked firmly between my legs and proceeded to drink away an entire summer and do the dumbest, most boneheaded move of my life.

I got an OUI or for all you non-Mainers that are reading this (which I hope there are some…please help a brother out), a DUI. We Mainers have a tendency to indulge in alcohol consumption before using many types of motorized equipment not just cars/trucks. These include but are not limited to snowmobiles, dirt bikes, boats, jet skis, dune buggies, skidders, tractors, riding lawn mowers, and power wheels. Hence, our state, in their infinite wisdom, has made it illegal to operate all of those powered vehicles under the influence. So I received an Operation Under the Influence on my way home from a favorite watering hole.

It did the trick. I woke up out of my booze induced laziness and knuckled down to learn the ins and outs of the family business. My father owns a large rewholesale nursery. We don’t sell used children, we sell plant material. So today, I live in Portland, enjoy my job, and have a wonderful better half. Oh and I’m writing this blog.

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